I have reached the point where I have no one to talk to, because I am always afraid people might judge me for the simplest things I cannot answer. This is another point in my life where a single statement from someone sinks me down somewhere near rock bottom. And while I always resurface and don’t show people that i too, have a low self-esteem, this time I am uncertain.
I really wish I have someone to talk to, someone who does not necessarily need to give me an advice or comfort me. I just need an ear to whisper all these worries away. I really wish I could spill some details, but I can’t. And I won’t. I desperately need a therapist, I seriously think so. There’s that fine line between sanity and insanity, I’ve been always on and off that line, it’s as if it were my second home. What has gotten into me? Why do I think like this? I still have a lot of questions that echo in my mind, but no one is there to answer back.
I don’t know if it hurts, but I know that does not make me feel okay for the least. Life does suck, and I constantly remind myself– life is fair. Indeed, life is. No matter what angle I see it, life is fair. But why do I deserve a life like this? Hell to the no saying it’s karma. I don’t believe in karma! Do I always have to go this low? Why? Please, answer me!!
I’m desperate. Therapist, please help me 😦
NOTE TO FUTURE SELF:
* If ever you’re reading this and you still feel like giving up, I still don’t know how to help you but please find a way for us. But if you’re well and good, please avoid getting into this state, you can’t handle it well.