The past days, my emotions are in a great turmoil. It does not show, but every time I get to be alone and silent, during public transpo, in the shower, before sleeping, it kicks right back in. I could say it was somewhat of a reality check for me. And I have been weighing on my ultimate dreams. And I guess I just found my sense of practicality.
It haunts me to the guts that my priorities have changed (?)
I been thinking, can I really get New York? People who I thought would be supportive of my dreams are the ones who have been “very helpful” in building up my hype. And my sense of practicality is somewhat not on my side. But screw it, this dream is what fuels me to live, to wake up everyday and face the bitch we have all been accustomed to– LIFE, and to do good in my final year in college.
At the end of this day, my preconscious has reminded me to keep my eyes on the prize. And it was just this morning, when I was half-awake and half-asleep when I changed my desktop background from a Superman wallpaper to a New York skyline wallpaper. This would keep me reminded what am I living for. I use the computer all the time, the wallpaper will remind me all the time.
Everytime I look at the picture, I get swallowed into oblivion, Let’s face it, this big city would really intimidate you. It would take everything that you have to survive this city. That is my challenge! Prove everyone I am capable. Prove everyone New York is where I’ll find that place called HOME.