That Long Overdue Sinulog Post

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I have been very obnoxious about having a dragging 2013, and I did nothing to fix it. Maybe all I need is a kick in the nuts to wake me up to my senses. Exactly a week ago, I was out in the streets wandering with friends not fully aware of what is around me because I was a little bit intoxicated. It felt good being alive!

What I did the entire weekend last week is something that shouldn’t be written in my own records of history books just to be immortalized, it will be lived. Everything was on its right place: the missed fluvial parade, the henna tattoos I don’t enjoy, the hecks of a walk, the nerve-thrashing perya rides, the mood killing traffic jam, the stellar fireworks show, the intimate closeness with the Sinulog crowd and the billion dollar idea that smashed the weekend– WORKING SHOTS.

I would not want to drag this post as well. I also would not want to detail how I wasted my weekend, because that is how it is immortalized.

Sleep and other important academic stuff were compromised and I did not mind. I had a blast! I learned the art of sneaking in, that thing is for sure.  But at the end of it all, I got what I wanted.

A jump-started 2013.

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I’m the curbside prophet, my rocket was not found somewhere in the streets during Sinulog.

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Nothing.

I promised to myself that I would jump start my year with a blog post about my Sinulog experience, which was more than crazy and more than what I expected, and this post is not that one yet. Soon enough.

My January was a bit of a drag despite the constant pressures and demands my acads are bringing. So far I’m coping up well, and I see a little glimmer of light for my thesis, and hopefully, without all the laziness and slacking, I intend to finish my thesis on or before the third week of February. Also, my identity of being the TV show junkie has been shelf-ed for some reason I really cannot explain. I’ve been weeks delayed with some TV shows. I haven’t even seen the entirety of the finale of The Voice.

BTW, what the heck am I doing right now blogging when in fact I am supposed to be in a whirl wind of academics stuff? I should be doing all those if I want to graduate April this year. Yeah, I have brewed 10-cups worth of coffee just to keep me awake though out the night. Anyone wanna join me in a vigil, thanks. I’ll need all the help I can get. While I am supposed to be writing all my thoughts to a Comparative Movie Review for our Rizal class, here I am. Again, what am I doing in here?

Here’s a little fact: you do a lot of work when you wear your shoes because you feel busy. So yes, I have not changed from the clothes I wore today. I still have my shoes on. That is how dedicated I am to not sleeping and doing all the things I am supposed to be doing but here I am blabbering like I have the time to do so and posting it online.

Tomorrow, I’ll be taking an exam which I have no basis as to what type of exam it is. I hope it’s the type of exam where I get a good mark. I sure hope so. Tomorrow, I’ll be asking my thesis adviser for updates. Yeah, it is the student who is asking for updates from his adviser. I live my student life that way.

Woah. And I just woke up to my senses. What kind of gibberish blahs am I writing in here and why am I doing this? I dunno. If someone reading this gets up to this point, go ask help from a shrink. I salute you for bearing with my unorganized and senseless thoughts right now. Srsly, pat yourself in the back. You deserve it.

Maybe it’s just the side effects of caffeine overdose or what not, but I’m pretty sure I’d look like a trainwreck tomorrow. So here’s to a night of taking things seriously. And I promise that my succeeding posts will make a lot of sense (I hope it is the Sinulog post). And I also promise that will organize my “Categories” because the current ones are not making a lot of sense. Just like this post.

Attention-seeking much?

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It’s 2013 and I’m still the curbside prophet and seriously hoping for my rocket to come.

I Cursed in Class

this is not my high school

Earlier today, in our Oral Communications class, we  were spared a few minutes to recall an experience in the past that may have greatly affected who we are in the present. And in an instant, I remember the thorns of high school. I remember exactly how I felt about high school. Still the same. Very much the same. HORRIBLE.

If I were to speak up straight in class, I just might again fall back in a downward spiral reverting back into a nefarious black hole just to cover up that feeling of disgust and self-hatred. So instead I opened up my blog on my phone and looked up the post that expressed my sheer disgust for my high school: That Hellhole Called High School.

The AC was right beside me blowing cold puffs of air while I sweat like I was in the middle of the desert. I was trying to keep my calm and poise. Every word I read out loud still hits me to the bones. My hands are trembling, I can’t even scroll down properly. My voice is dying down, my throat is drying up. I did not make eye contact because I don’t wanna see how I was perceived at the moment. I was very vulnerable.

I was holding out fine until I got on the last line where I used a curse word. I was too carried away for my bleeping skills to do its job. I was a second too late. I said the F-word in class. Fck, my teacher was listening to every word I said and clearly she heard the last one.

Indeed, high school was that painful. And I’m still very bitter about it. I’ll always look fine, but I’ll never be fine. I hate how I was stupid enough to get some balls reading a very personal article I wrote. I hate how I fool myself into thinking I will be alright. And I also hate the fact that this is going nowhere.

There, it’s out in the open. It’s always been there. I will forever be hateful with things around me. Nothing to lose. I’m fine because this has been the norm for a period of time already. I am fine. I am.

But who am I kidding?

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I’m just a curbside prophet, with my hands in my pocket and I hate that rocket!