This Is So Awkward


Today was definitely not one of my days.

I started the day with a mild hangover. Did a quick fix and I thought I was gonna be okay for the rest of the day. At least that’s what I thought. I checked my phone for whatever shenanigans I pulled the night before. Apologized for being too clingy to someone and deleted a tweet that was way out of line. And I did not expect that all those things will come and bite me back in my ass later this day.

All through out the day that tweet placed in the most awkward situations equivalent to another man’s life’s worth of awkwardness.  People were not supposed to read that. It was the alcohol tweeting. Heck, it was still me. The alcohol gave me enough courage to hit the send button. I didn’t even care what repercussions would happen if I did that. Now what did it get me?

And the texts, oh yes. Friends have been too pun-ny about it. And yes, I did the “pretending I was not listening while I’m in the phone doing practically nothing acting like I did not hear a word they said” when they mention something about it. I’m just saying, those texts were overly sensationalized it shouldn’t even be a big deal. Drunk texts. Doh.

I was absolutely bothered the whole day. I never expected the repercussions to hit this hard. I just wanted to be someone else, fit into some strangers shoe and forget about the life I currently have. The awkwardness I felt was beyond boundaries. The worries I have that the story that is out there might be misinterpreted and things get awkward-er are worries that scream so much about uncertainties.

Listen kids, alcohol does give you enough courage to do the things you can’t do when you are sober. It usually resolves things, but in my case it made things even more complicated. I have been very careful as how I interact with the people making sure that they won;t get a clue why I did what. And things like that.

But now that alcohol has allowed a couple of people privy of my real intentions, it gets tougher. Thinking of how I should act socially reminding myself to not let the situation be awkward not just for me, but for the people around me as well uses up more neurons. It’s tougher now.

I have caused so much chaos and confusion already, let alone more awkward situations. And yes, the excessive use of the word awkward in this post does not compare to how awkward I really feel right now. So let me just apologize to all the people that are also stuck in the awkward situation that I made, please let’s not talk about the elephant in the room and just go on with how life should be.

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I’m just a curbside prophet, with my hands on my pocket, pretending I’m a different someone.

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