It’s me, and I’m not that fly in the wall anymore (at least), but still I believe this is not what I’m destined to be and this is also not the kind of job I wanna have in the long run. I somehow found my niche; I’m quite comfortable and now I’ve gotten used to working everyday around these people in this mundane room, and on this very computer. Yeah, still the wrong wall.
Looking around, I see people who dedicated 4 or 5 years in their lives studying about computers, theories and the likes. We were wired to think alike. We think (somewhat) alike, at least technically. Everyday, I see these successfully converted Japanese workaholics (they don’t have a life outside work). And it somewhat terrifies me that I might eventually be one. But I have a stronghold on the belief that work (not a career) should not hinder you from living your life. After all, the things that you did not do are the things that you would regret in your old age.
We’re just nearing the first half of this intensive 4-month training and I’ve seen people who are slowly giving up, people who are still putting up a damn good fight, people who have reached their limits but still keeps pushing their limits, the “ichibans” (people who are basically more than good enough), and then there’s me. Yes, I do my fair share of struggle and hardship (I’m doing average btw and I couldn’t give more damn about it) but I don’t have the same reflexes as these people who just succumb and dive in to all the tasks at hand. I need my TV shows, my comics, my ebooks, my Friday nights and my do-nothing time.
Working at an 8-5 pace (with extra unpaid overtimes) was never what I thought it would be. But right now I’ll have to endure all these because I’m more focused at filling up my wallet. Sorry dreams, you’ll just have to wait a little longer.
I’m the curbside prophet, and the rocket launch is stalled.
P.S. The photo above is not mine. Not my workspace as well, credits to owner.