I promised myself never to rant about my job again and stop talking crap about it because I too am tired of all these annoyances from myself. This one I promise (and I hope) that it won’t go as far as there.
I’ve always been uptight and compulsive with achieving since time immemorial. Well, partly because of the pressure that’s been burdened upon me. It has come to a point that you’re ready to snap and break, so you thought of just letting go on the right moment. And thought that I could just drop everything after college. That I could just let go and let life do the cruising for me because I seriously am tired of giving a shit, as if my life really depends on it. And that’s how I really thought it would be, and that it would just come easy.
Shocker, I absolutely got that wrong. I always get everything wrong. Yes, not giving a damn and really not caring felt so good. No worries, no pressure, just living in the moment. But it’s just all too good to be true; it took me the words of a wise woman I know, to realize that there are no breaks in life, you are always in the fast lane. And you have to do your bestest of your best to maintain what you’ve already sustained, otherwise you need to push even harder.
It also actually made me realize how much less of a person I am to myself. I may really come off as the egoistic, mean-spirited, self-loathing thwat, but deep deep down I know I’m just a though nut with nothing in side. I’m a horrible person, I know that. I pretty much fail miserably at anything I do. I might as well rename myself to “The World’s Greatest Failure”.
I’m the curbside prophet, aka The Failure.