New Fridays

TGIF

credits to owner

Some couples months ago, I would be home by around this hour, or maybe even later (or earlier in the morning) from a Friday night out. I’d be dead tired and half-sober and half drunk, contented and satisfied. Those were the days. Continue reading

Advertisements

He’s Back

It’s been a long time since I’ve been keeping myself in the dark; just enough time for me to grow out of my insecurities, hatred and all the Clark-iness vibe I give off. Circumstances have forced me to grow up (no puns intended) and act more mature, just to fail miserably. But at least I know I’m trying. Of those months of solitude (or just my job eating all of my time), I learned to shut up. I don’t have to explain myself anymore, and it felt accomplishing to be on a good streak. But as of this moment, I’m done with cold turkey and I think I’ll be fine now. I hope. Continue reading

Just A Random Thought

My Workspace (I wish)

It’s me, and I’m not that fly in the wall anymore (at least), but still I believe this is not what I’m destined to be and this is also not the kind of job I wanna have in the long run.  I somehow found my niche; I’m quite comfortable and now I’ve gotten used to working everyday around these people in this mundane room, and on this very computer. Yeah, still the wrong wall. Continue reading

Stepping out of the Shadow

Just a shadow

My entire life is built on a shadow cast back when I was younger; that I am this and that. My parents are academic achievers, so should I. They were responsible at a very young age, so should I. I was overshadowed by all their frustrations that they want me to be what they wanted to be back when they were younger. All of my life, I’ve been living with this shadow overhead. Continue reading

*Pats Self on the Back*

Sumablay rin ako.

Sumablay rin ako.

I have not seen the official list yet, but here I am doing what I do best– getting ahead of anything that’s about to happen. Here’s the news: I AM FINALLY GRADUATING COLLEGE THIS MONTH!

Looking back to the four years I’ve had in college, I initially thought I was really gonna come out victorious. But what I did not expect was that victory would never come easy. Cliche as it maybe, being a UP student is like a stroll in the park– Jurassic Park. I had extreme highs and lows as a college student. I’ve had my fair share of sleepless nights, horrible professors, great parties, out of this world exams and all other average college students have experienced. But one thing’s for sure, I seriously don’t know how I survived college. With that, I give myself a pat on the back.

Who I was four years back is not the same person I am now. My university has changed the way I view things in perspective. At least that is something I will forever owe UP. If  my four-years-ago self would see me now, I’m not sure he would have expected me to be like this but I hope he would be happy and proud of who I am now as a person. So another pat on the back.

College is indeed a journey. You have your sights on your destination, there are different paths to take to get to your destination, and you meet people along the way. I never expected to have met people that were contributory factors to how I have shaped myself to be. In a way, yes they do define a part of me. I never expected to fit in the ‘Say Whaat?’ clique but hey here we are planning our after-college escapades and secret trips.  Not only was I able to gain new people on my pocket but I was also able to strengthen existing bonds that I already had. (Guys, brogs nya ta ha!) These people, both old and new, were there during the wear and tear of college pressure.

I couldn’t really distinguish if I was a good or bad student because I knew I was both. I never really bothered acing exams and getting good grades in college, but somehow at the end of every other semester I magically get oh-some grades. I knew I didn’t care about those grades but at the back of my head I also knew I had to be good better because of the pressures given to me as a STEC graduate, as the eldest child, or whatever kind of pressure because I am me. The roughest 3 decades (actually just 3 weeks) of my life is the last weeks of college where the SP paranoia kicked in. And in my defense, I had an unstable adviser so I could not really tell if I was graduating or not. My point is, people were somehow supportive and positive I would do just great in my SP, but little did they know that every “Go! Clark, kaya mo yan. IKAW PA.” comforting they do sucker punches my will to keep pushing. It’s too much pressure to take that I am me and I need to excel. How fortunate of them to just know where my limits lie?

Every time I look up to the frame hanging in the wall showing that slick and handsome *wink* picture of me in a sablay, I never succeed in hiding a little smile because I knew college was fun while it lasted. I have both enjoyed and hated college. I could still pick out crazy stories that happened within the four years of college, truly nostalgic. I will not miss college, I will miss the fun I had in college. Graduation is near. I’m not sure I feel happy, excited, anxious, scared, horrified of the thought of graduating but I know I will be marching that isle bringing all the memories and wisdom I learned from UP. Sawakas, sumablay rin ako!

And to all other Iskos and Iskas who will be graduating this semester, give yourself a pat on the back, we deserve this. And to those we left behind, still give yourself a pat on the back, okay ra na (loljk) for still putting up a fight because for sure sasablay rin kayo.

###

I’m the curbside prophet and laters college!

And This Legacy Award Goes To..

I have this Rizal class later this afternoon, and up to now I still have no homework to present. That is– to present in class your legacy in a creative way. Creative I can do, but do I really have my own legacy? This is something that has been bugging me for the past days with no resolution at all. If I don’t have a legacy at least I have this essay to present in class later on. Or let’s just see if I pick up something along the way.

As I have expressed from previous posts, I never excelled greatly at something. I’m your typical jack of all trades, not bad but not good as well. It actually sucks thinking you have nothing special about you, or at least that is what I think of myself. Let me just run down to the things that are on top of my list now.

Yes, I watch a handful, err a gazillion of TV shows, but what legacy does that give me? “The Legacy of Couch Potato”. I would have been proud of that, but that’s something my professor would not accept I assume. I mean, what makes watching a loooot of tv shows a legacy. Right?

Or maybe “The Legacy of Apathy.” If you have been around me for some time, you would know that my rule number one in life is: DO NOT CARE. Because when you do, things complicate and I am awkward in complex situations. At least when you don’t, nothing’s harmed and nothing’s lost. And again, is that a legacy my professor would accept? I doubt as well.

Oh of course, I go with the flow. And I somehow, in a way, sort of, roll with the punches. When life gives me lemons, I make lemonades. And when life gives me lemonades, I will make lemons. And then life will be like– whaaaat? Hmyeah, I got that from Phil Dunphy’s Phil’s-o-sophy. But the point is, I could get “The Legacy of Spontaneity”. Another proof I could get that legacy is I am writing this article with thoughts flowing right from the top of my head uncensored.

Oh yes, “Legacy of Bitterness”. If the basis for winning this award is the number of things someone hates in this world, then I would be the winner. Most people who know me can attest to that. It’s just that almost everything annoys me, yet here I am annoying you. But really, a legacy? Would my professor even take that? Right.

Or maybe, just maybe, because I’m just average at everything, someone else always beats me at a certain category, I should get “Legacy of Jack of All Trades”. But heck, there are people even better than me on this one. The above average jack of all trades.

I am exhausted. Thinking of what other legacies I could call mine and something I could pass unto my successors. But hey, I’m supposed to be selfish, I don’t wanna pass something that’s mine. And I am just saying that because I know nothing is mine. This has always been the case, always the nominee and never the winner. I am so used to it.

So, to answer my question.. no, I don’t have a legacy. That’s something. At least I know I have something that’s missing that eventually I’ll have to ask myself again in five years time. And professor, I am sorry I don’t have my homework. My dog ate it. Heck, I don’t even have a dog. But really, I’m just a screw up.

###

I’m just the curbside prophet, and that’s all I got.

City Etiquette

When you decide to hit the big cities, expect that things will be quite different than what things are in your regular city. I did expect things differently, and I guess I overestimated what the city brings. Yes, it was crowded, very tall buildings, LRTs and MRTs, very long and congested highways, malls everywhere, extremely busy people who walk with a faster pace and all the likes. I expected all those, and I guess I expected too much. But my point is, how do you really adjust to the city living?

1. Trust no one. 

In a big city, you only have yourself to trust, or at least your companions. Everyone else is working at their own pace, time is always at their tails. As one of my companions have observed, they look like they are always running. The point is, time is not something they cannot waste as it is the fuel that makes the big cities tick. You can’t trust these people because this is a world of survival, only the fittest survive. Because if you can’t cope with the pace, the city will eat you out alive.

2. Get hydrated.

In your attempts at catching up with their pace, make sure that you have enough energy to get you going. People are wired relatively different in the cities. They make sure that they make it out alive at the end of the day, and also ready to survive yet another day.

3. Adjust with the culture.

Try your best to cope with the people around you. Usually, language is the barrier. That is why, it is best if you travel alone so that you are forced to adjust to how people are in the place you are at. Because if you travel by bulk, you would just feel like you are walking on the same ground. Observe how people do it.

4. Dare to stand out.

Don’t focus too much on adjusting that you are losing your sense of identity. Always be yourself. Don’t hesitate asking questions from strangers. HAHAHA

At least try following these tips because really, people will try to take advantage and fool you if you look too naive and trusting for a big city.

And really, I am not supposed to be here now, I should be reviewing or sleeping for tomorrow’s competition.. So I’m just gonna end this post hanging.

###

I’m the curbside prophet, and I’m looking for my rocket.

LOVE: Because I don’t talk about it that much

LOVE.

I never expected  that I would end up writing something about love in this blog. Heck, I couldn’t even feel at ease typing out the letters to spell the word. But whatever, let see how this goes.

For starters, I just think being in love is so clingy, needy, intimate and blehk. It makes you do things, say words, dream hopelessly about things you won’t ever do when you are in your right mind. It is a drug that alters the way you normally live your life. It is dangerous. It is troublesome. It is not even logical at all.

I have seen the crazy things people do for the sake of the L-word. By crazy I mean re-adjusting your crazy scale because it is over the top. I have seen people get hurt for giving in too much, for missing a lot, for what else things love demands. Oh wait, am I describing a follower, a help or a servant maybe? Pardon that.

But who am I to say all these? From an observer’s point of view, it is what it is. And to be really honest, I am horrified of the day I will take back all I’m posting in here. Because if the L-word is there, commitment will follow, then more responsibilities. And to top everything off, I’m perfectly good at screwing all those things up. So avoid as much as possible.

But one thing I know is for sure, it is not the drug I want to mess with. I’ll take it moderately.

###

I’m just the curbside prophet and I can’t say the L-word.