What ever happened to the Clark that was

2013 is the year of the cliche: a roller coaster ride. I’ve reached my peak of both highest of highs and lowest of lows just this year. Looking back to the year that was, I now have been a slightly different person than who I was when the year begun. I was that dark gloomy cloud of storm that made of 100% BS just lurking around the corning prowling for others who are as miserable or worse than me. Now, I’m still a dark cloud (more gray) that still hangs in the corner but more hopeful that there would be sunny days and bright days ahead, and trying his best to pretend he’s not a dark orb of energy sucking away the remaining good in this earth. Continue reading

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*Pats Self on the Back*

Sumablay rin ako.

Sumablay rin ako.

I have not seen the official list yet, but here I am doing what I do best– getting ahead of anything that’s about to happen. Here’s the news: I AM FINALLY GRADUATING COLLEGE THIS MONTH!

Looking back to the four years I’ve had in college, I initially thought I was really gonna come out victorious. But what I did not expect was that victory would never come easy. Cliche as it maybe, being a UP student is like a stroll in the park– Jurassic Park. I had extreme highs and lows as a college student. I’ve had my fair share of sleepless nights, horrible professors, great parties, out of this world exams and all other average college students have experienced. But one thing’s for sure, I seriously don’t know how I survived college. With that, I give myself a pat on the back.

Who I was four years back is not the same person I am now. My university has changed the way I view things in perspective. At least that is something I will forever owe UP. If  my four-years-ago self would see me now, I’m not sure he would have expected me to be like this but I hope he would be happy and proud of who I am now as a person. So another pat on the back.

College is indeed a journey. You have your sights on your destination, there are different paths to take to get to your destination, and you meet people along the way. I never expected to have met people that were contributory factors to how I have shaped myself to be. In a way, yes they do define a part of me. I never expected to fit in the ‘Say Whaat?’ clique but hey here we are planning our after-college escapades and secret trips.  Not only was I able to gain new people on my pocket but I was also able to strengthen existing bonds that I already had. (Guys, brogs nya ta ha!) These people, both old and new, were there during the wear and tear of college pressure.

I couldn’t really distinguish if I was a good or bad student because I knew I was both. I never really bothered acing exams and getting good grades in college, but somehow at the end of every other semester I magically get oh-some grades. I knew I didn’t care about those grades but at the back of my head I also knew I had to be good better because of the pressures given to me as a STEC graduate, as the eldest child, or whatever kind of pressure because I am me. The roughest 3 decades (actually just 3 weeks) of my life is the last weeks of college where the SP paranoia kicked in. And in my defense, I had an unstable adviser so I could not really tell if I was graduating or not. My point is, people were somehow supportive and positive I would do just great in my SP, but little did they know that every “Go! Clark, kaya mo yan. IKAW PA.” comforting they do sucker punches my will to keep pushing. It’s too much pressure to take that I am me and I need to excel. How fortunate of them to just know where my limits lie?

Every time I look up to the frame hanging in the wall showing that slick and handsome *wink* picture of me in a sablay, I never succeed in hiding a little smile because I knew college was fun while it lasted. I have both enjoyed and hated college. I could still pick out crazy stories that happened within the four years of college, truly nostalgic. I will not miss college, I will miss the fun I had in college. Graduation is near. I’m not sure I feel happy, excited, anxious, scared, horrified of the thought of graduating but I know I will be marching that isle bringing all the memories and wisdom I learned from UP. Sawakas, sumablay rin ako!

And to all other Iskos and Iskas who will be graduating this semester, give yourself a pat on the back, we deserve this. And to those we left behind, still give yourself a pat on the back, okay ra na (loljk) for still putting up a fight because for sure sasablay rin kayo.

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I’m the curbside prophet and laters college!

This Is So Awkward


Today was definitely not one of my days.

I started the day with a mild hangover. Did a quick fix and I thought I was gonna be okay for the rest of the day. At least that’s what I thought. I checked my phone for whatever shenanigans I pulled the night before. Apologized for being too clingy to someone and deleted a tweet that was way out of line. And I did not expect that all those things will come and bite me back in my ass later this day.

All through out the day that tweet placed in the most awkward situations equivalent to another man’s life’s worth of awkwardness.  People were not supposed to read that. It was the alcohol tweeting. Heck, it was still me. The alcohol gave me enough courage to hit the send button. I didn’t even care what repercussions would happen if I did that. Now what did it get me?

And the texts, oh yes. Friends have been too pun-ny about it. And yes, I did the “pretending I was not listening while I’m in the phone doing practically nothing acting like I did not hear a word they said” when they mention something about it. I’m just saying, those texts were overly sensationalized it shouldn’t even be a big deal. Drunk texts. Doh.

I was absolutely bothered the whole day. I never expected the repercussions to hit this hard. I just wanted to be someone else, fit into some strangers shoe and forget about the life I currently have. The awkwardness I felt was beyond boundaries. The worries I have that the story that is out there might be misinterpreted and things get awkward-er are worries that scream so much about uncertainties.

Listen kids, alcohol does give you enough courage to do the things you can’t do when you are sober. It usually resolves things, but in my case it made things even more complicated. I have been very careful as how I interact with the people making sure that they won;t get a clue why I did what. And things like that.

But now that alcohol has allowed a couple of people privy of my real intentions, it gets tougher. Thinking of how I should act socially reminding myself to not let the situation be awkward not just for me, but for the people around me as well uses up more neurons. It’s tougher now.

I have caused so much chaos and confusion already, let alone more awkward situations. And yes, the excessive use of the word awkward in this post does not compare to how awkward I really feel right now. So let me just apologize to all the people that are also stuck in the awkward situation that I made, please let’s not talk about the elephant in the room and just go on with how life should be.

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I’m just a curbside prophet, with my hands on my pocket, pretending I’m a different someone.

Cough Syrup

Because life’s too short to even care at all.

Today I woke up to humming this song because yet again, and as it always has recurred in this blog– LIFE SUCKS. And day by day, my long list of reasons why life sucks has gone longer. And every time I start to spiral downwards and have tantrums, in the form of self-destructive and chaotic mental breakdown, this song and two others are on the top of my playlist. At least for now, I know that I am currently in a downward spiral for a couple of weeks already that I have been accustomed to it, and not getting tantrums anymore.

I have always seen myself play this song in loop while I commit suicide long before Glee made it happen. It’s just that.. every time I hear this song play, I get that morbid feel that it is just sickening and horrible and ugh. At least that is how I made of it since I heard the song years years ago. Until they came along– the ones with radiant auras.

Because if you listen to the song carefully, you would know that the guy is actually hopeful that the cough syrup will make things in his life better. That the cough syrup will magically cure life’s bitterness. That eventually he’ll be okay.

So I’m gonna be taking the same cough syrup because I, also am tired of how life works, and how life should be better than I thought it would be. It will take time. I have gone into a deeper darker place, and I’ll be waiting for my cough syrup to come down

And so I run now to the things they said could restore me, restore life the way it should be. I’m waiting for this cough syrup to come down.

One more spoon of cough syrup now.

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I’m just the curbside prophet, and I’m waiting for this cough syrup to come down.

p.s.

Thank you friends, dearly for the symbolic gift you gave me!

Cough Syrup!

That Long Overdue Sinulog Post

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I have been very obnoxious about having a dragging 2013, and I did nothing to fix it. Maybe all I need is a kick in the nuts to wake me up to my senses. Exactly a week ago, I was out in the streets wandering with friends not fully aware of what is around me because I was a little bit intoxicated. It felt good being alive!

What I did the entire weekend last week is something that shouldn’t be written in my own records of history books just to be immortalized, it will be lived. Everything was on its right place: the missed fluvial parade, the henna tattoos I don’t enjoy, the hecks of a walk, the nerve-thrashing perya rides, the mood killing traffic jam, the stellar fireworks show, the intimate closeness with the Sinulog crowd and the billion dollar idea that smashed the weekend– WORKING SHOTS.

I would not want to drag this post as well. I also would not want to detail how I wasted my weekend, because that is how it is immortalized.

Sleep and other important academic stuff were compromised and I did not mind. I had a blast! I learned the art of sneaking in, that thing is for sure.  But at the end of it all, I got what I wanted.

A jump-started 2013.

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I’m the curbside prophet, my rocket was not found somewhere in the streets during Sinulog.

2012: The Year That Is, Was and Will Be

2012

I was supposed to create a very comprehensive year-ender blog post, but to no avail, I can’t seem to make out the entirety of the year that’s about to close in. Maybe because I was not sober the whole year, just kidding. Maybe I’m just not really attentive with details of the past, I can’t recollect it properly. Or maybe it’s just because it was not really a memorable or a stand out year after all. I hope it isn’t the latter because I really don’t know why.

To be fairly honest, there is nothing big about a transition from a year to another. So why the hell would I sum up the year that was when in fact it is just a year that’s passing by? Maybe because a new year defines the beginning of a new set of mistakes, and hell I should be learning from the mistakes that I did this year?

So how was my 2012 like?

January. The only standout memory I could make from this month was the Sinulog Celebration. I was like a freakin’ animal released into the wild. From 3am of Saturday to 2am of Monday, I was out there enjoying the festivities. Oh, it was a great January! I hope I get to do an awful more fun on the next Sinulog.

january

Hey, it’s the old blog banner!

February. Hm, birthday? Meh, I’m never the birthday person. I don;t make a big deal out of it and I intend to keep it that way. But February is for the College Prom, my first prom ever. The theme was Oscars night, but to be honest, the theme really did not matter to me because whatever it would have been, I would still have gone as Superman. Just because.

february

It’s a bird!

March. It was a pretty much a haggard month, thanks to a very meticulous professor, Ms. Pauline Wade. I did not hate her because she was too demanding, in fact I learned a looot from her. And if given another chance to enroll in her class, I would do so. Just not during 4th year because I’m doing(?) my thesis.

April. I got an internship from Greater Heights. Yes, the first weeks were fun. Learned a couple of stuff, felt what it was to work on a company, being demanded by a handful of jobs with tight deadlines by your boss, blah blah blah. It was fun, but the fun lasted not for long. It went from light and fun to horrible and crazy in just a few weeks. But I just kept everything to myself because if I ranted about it back then, I would have been toast. Also, I started this blog on this month. So here’s a shoutout to the first post I made in this blog.

May. The internship continues and the mask-wearing has been a stretch. Not only were we, the interns not given a compensation package by the company, they also demanded work to be brought home because they are a few people short. Every time I log in to the biometrics of the office door, I put on that phony smile to show that I’m still enjoying the job, but HAHAHAHAHAHA.

June. So my 4th academic year in college has begun. June was a bit of a drag. Meh.

July. We got “fired” from the job we got after being absorbed in the company that we had our internship. It was bittersweet. I don’t wanna talk about it. I learned a lot from that experience, but it really is not worth recalling.

From the first payday!

From the first payday!

August. Officially a registered voter! Then all the adventures and mishaps with friends went consecutive. It was as if almost every day was an opportunity for us to live the day like it’s our last one. Chilling in here, boozing in there, party somewhere, and get banned in a lot of places. No regrets at all.

Registered voter!

Registered voter!

September. I started to play MMORPG again. There were those sleepless nights just to get your character’s level up high. The adrenaline of playing RPG games is really different. But then I stopped because I have better priorities. Also, September marks the FALL TV SEASON. Ahh, nirvana! Lot’s of new shows and other returning shows. I will never get tired with this.

FLYFF

FLYFF

October. More adventures my wasted and moist friends. Late October, I will never forget the “Parkmall Incident”. HAHAHA, this by far tops my 2012. I’m not spilling the details because it would not be as golden as it is now if a lot of people knew about it.

November. I joined Cebu Blog Camp. And while it was not what I expected it to be, I got what I wanted from the experience. That is, to get the momentum of blogging more frequently. And I got to meet new and fun companies. Hello, Team Tendeng!

December. I realized I hated high school. I was sober only about half the month. I hated Christmas Parties. I got ready for the assumed “End of the World”. And the best of them all, the MCDV party (which again, I was not sober). HAHA

The hungover

The hungover

Just when I thought the year was just a year that will be buried in history. Turns out, there are a couple of things that stood out and are worth remembering and should be written in biography in case I become rich, famous and successful. I am thankful of the year that has been. I have learned from the mistakes that I have done this year. I will keep the memories worth keeping. After all, 2012 is not just a year that’s just passing by, which I thought was. Cheers, to the year that is, was and will be!

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I’m still the curbside prophet with my hands in my pocket and I’m waiting for 2013 to come.

Drink ‘Til You Drop

I just sobered up and I’m already past my 7am curfew. These people are enjoying the low tide waters. The soothing calmness of the water current gives you that rush to just jump right in to the waters. I can’t. Because I came in unprepared for this overnight party. I’m missing the fun, yet again.

The greatest thing I got from high school are these awesome companions. And I could say that they’re still the same people who act so immature when we get together. For four years in a row, we’ve made it a tradition to have a Christmas Get-Together Party every 29th of December. This year was quite typical with regards to attendance. Only around half our batch showed up.

This year was by far, the greatest. We are clearly adults now. From the language we speak to the games we play and to the drinks we drink. Yep, this year’s theme was Drink ‘Til You Drop.

Last night was amazing! The only thing was, I was the first to be knocked down. Just because a darn movie bored me to sleep and I missed the next couple hours of fun. And again this morning when the group decided to have a dip in the waters. Blitz. Boo!

But no regrets. Our batch was proven and tested that throughout the years, we were closely knit to enjoy and suffer together come what may.

I just might be happy at the moment or again, the alcohol talking :))

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I’m just a curbside prophet with my hands on my pocket and no, I don’t wanna go home yet.

Just Like Broadway

So I was having quite the typical crappy, manic Monday. Really, really horrible morning. I just might compare it’s horrible intensity to the brewing superstorm, Pablo. And to be frankly honest, the so-so thing that could have lifted up my spirits just a few notch is our Rizal class. HAHAHA, trust me when I say that the Philippine’s national hero is a vampire. I have no proofs yet, but I will definitely prove that.

This school day was a drag. But that is something that I wouldn’t want to be blogging just about now. Hm, where do I begin really? Ah, yes! I was scheduled for a date that we rightfully won with Team Tendeng, the people I have bonded with over the course of the Cebu Blog Camp. We were waiting for some of our team members to arrive so we can go as a team (yeah, really). And while we were at it, me and the guys decided to push thru with our long overdue plan to play Kinect and try out the new songs. Who knew that warming up to XBOX would come in so handy later on. Yep, we were 3 members out because they have other priorities at hand. Good thing one of them was intending to catch up later on. The trip was hilarious enough for us to get a sitcom.

in photo (L-R): ER, Kim, Kirby, me, Danilo. photograph by: AlanMIA: Ella, Ivy, Carl

In photo (L-R): ER, Kim, Kirby, me, Danilo.
Photograph by: Alan
MIA: Ella, Ivy, Carl

After some travel hazards and a few struggles, we got to the venue. It was not as accessible as I thought it was. But traveling as a big group was fun enough for someone to feel the hassles. Lakwatsa Resto Lounge was somewhat hidden from common view as I did not know that such street is there somewhere in Mandaue. But not bad. The elevators we’re well, techy. And everyone knows that there’s something special about elevators– sexy, claustrophobic, mundane. But to us, it was an avenue for a chuckle-worthy of a photograph. Trivia: Lakwatsa was at the 5th floor of the building and we took the photograph on the 5th floor. We had to close it back for the full elevator feel. The elevator went back down and back up. Just for a photograph.

Elevator

*smile* *click* *shutter* *ding* *elevator door opens* *laughter*

The people there were accommodating and hospitable. No complaints. Food was just above average. Barbecue was bland but the baby back ribs was delish! Must try. I should be posting some photos of the food we ate, but it is just too mainstream and it just sooo not me. So you’ll have to go check out the place to get what I mean. A part of our ticket says that “the show” starts at 8pm. Wait, what show? This should somehow entertain me. I’ve never seen a Broadway-like show. Please don’t disappoint me!

Heck, I was entertained. The show was called “Biyahe”. A show that travels the Philippines exploring and highlighting the best of the Filipino culture. I was fascinated with the lively performance of tinikling, and the sayaw sa bangko was something that I did not expect. The depiction of the underwater dance was extravagant. And the best part of their performance is the audience interaction. They brought people from the audience and taught them basic tinikling. It was a refresher of the dance I had back in high school. So much memories.

One, Two, Clap (repeat 'till you're tired)

One, Two, Clap (repeat ’till you’re tired)

Then we had this window of opportunity to get a pic with the outstanding beauty among the performers. Trust me when I say outstanding. Hey there Alan, buddy. HAHA. Still, I had my pic taken with her 😛

Exhibit A.

Exhibit A.

Exhibit B.

Exhibit B.

The performers are really great. And I talked to one of them and told her it was just like Broadway. It was so overwhelming, at least to me, that I need not go to Brooklyn just to get a good show. But of course, that will always be in my bucket list. Funny how a “Broadway-quality show” is just somewhere in the city. Lakwatsa has this great gimmick for attracting not just the locals but also tourists from different places. It IS a must watch!

So we had our photos taken with the 10G Troupers, the performers, taken right after their show. They deserve a slow clap for their commendable and good vibes performance. Indeed, Team Tandang bonded well and good with this experience. No kiss a*sing intended, but I’m really thankful for Cebu Blog Camp for making this happen.

I'm beside Lakwatsa Girl :>

I’m beside Lakwatsa Girl :>

More fun in the... (no, i'm not joining the bandwagon)

More fun in the… (no, i’m not joining the bandwagon)

Goodtimes! There’s definitely a round two for Team Tendeng. It was so much fun, we should do it again. Just being snarky right here– THE BILLBOARD.

And who knew that Monday’s don’t necessarily have to suck. And to top it all off, I had a very fun one. Just like Broadway.

Screw the Cork

Before I begin, let me just point out that this post is a day or so overdue. I’ve been busy with all the shenanigans and the blahs. But because it really is worth blogging, here it is!

So we really were getting serious with this blogging thing– which leads us to the annual Cebu Blog Camp. It was “fun”. Let me just encapsulate everything I experienced in the camp in the word “fun”. And also, I won a looooot of freebies and also terribly amazing acquaintances. Shout out to Team Tendeng! Whooo!

But the day does not end there. Me and friends decided to go to a local (when I say local, something that’s just in our island– Lapu-Lapu) restobar, a tiki-house something, for some celebratory drinks and a little party mood. Funny thing is, we don’t know where it is located exactly. We just know what vehicle to ride.

What I love about my friends is that the element of uncertainty is something that you should be looking forward to. You just don’t know where you end up. You don’t have to expect anything. There are no plans. Spur-of-the-moment kinds of people. We live in the present.

So we stopped at the middle of nowhere. All we know is that the tiki-house is out there somewhere. We found a grill house, thought of having dinner in there. But just like an oasis in the dessert, there’s this Italian Pizza House (La Bella Napoli). We decided to dine there and ditch the tiki-house. We chose the place because it has inexpensive rates, good ambiance and it is near the beach. Fancy and classy enough? And that is exactly what we intended to do. Pizza and red wine! (Does that match?) It was a good attempt at being classy. We bought our own wine but had to pay a corkage fee at the restaurant. It had no cork to prove it was expensive and fancy. But the dinner we were about to have is fancier and more expensive that a corked wine.

notes on a napkin

notes on a napkin

We enjoyed dinner and talked some good stuff! The only thing that would complement any dinner is good talk. And for the record, that dinner was near memorable and fancy. Then the rest of the gang arrived and more great talks came about. Then karaoke followed. A few songs and we were good!

You don’t need to have corks to show that your flavor is rich and expensive. So screw the cork and create your own cork of experiences.